IN THIS EDITION:
#1 CS SCHOOL FAILS TO MAKE GLITCH-FREE ASSU BALLOT
REVIEW GOES McCARTHYIST, TARGETS ASSU CANDIDATE WITH INCRIMINATING (?) SECRET LIST
SOPHOMORE CLASS PREZ CANDIDATES UNDER INVESTIGATION, AFTER MAJOR CAMPAIGN DRAMA (FEAT. OTERO PARTY, BEYONCÉ TICKET GIVEAWAY, LOTS OF BACKSTABBING, & THE TWAINWRECK 2.0 THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN)
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